We have made it to mile marker 17 in the journey called life.  Seventeen years ago on a Friday in Palmyra, New York, Katie became Maulucci.  We have had enough experiences since that day to fill an average life.  Everything has not been rosy.  I would probably use the adjective “rich”.  We frequently surf the variated gamut of emotions available to mankind.  Stoic, calm, peaceful are not adjectives I would use in describing neither us nor our marriage.  Exhilarating, adventurous, provocative, temperamental – any of these may work.

I would do it all again if I had the choice.  She is the one.  She is my soulmate.  I love to converse with friends intellectually and philosophically and socially.  She is the only one with whom I converse emotionally.

Here are 17 virtues she possesses:

1  SHE IS HONEST

As those of us that know her best sometimes say, “She is brutally honest.”  She doesn’t play the “polite” game.  She is put off by putting on.  She is Polish.  She has never lied to me.  If I ever want an honest conversation, I know where to go.

2  SHE IS REAL

She is not a people-pleaser.  She is not bouncy and smiley and “so-great-to-see-ya’ll” ish.  She does not put on airs.  She is not trying to impress.  What you see is what you get.  She does not live a public life one way and a private life differently.  She is who she is.  She is real, and I like that.

3  SHE SUBMITS TO MY SPIRITUALITY

I am not spiritual.  I am not who I should be.  I am a hypocrite.  She has never beaten me over the head with the Bible.  She has never challenged my belief system.  She has never rolled her eyes at my spiritual shortcomings.  She has always been open and eager to share in any knowledge that I glean from the Bible.  She has NEVER “shared a word” in church or in our home unless I was not present.  I have entered the room many times when she was teaching the Bible to the children – it is always immediate deference.  I love her for that.

4  SHE IS NOT A CRYBABY

I took her from her country home and moved her to the city.  I took her from the USA and moved her to Eastern Europe.  She has birthed 11 children.  She has been ridiculed and rejected by the country in which we live.  She lives in the annoyance that is Eastern Europe, but she is not a crybaby.  Is there exasperation from time to time?  Yes.  Have I ever heard her say, “Take me back to America – I can’t take it anymore.”  No.

5  SHE IS PULLED BY NO GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION

When Katie married me, she cut the ties with mommy and daddy.  Oh, does she still love them?  Yes.  Does she still communicate with them?  Yes.  Does she bemoan leaving  home?  No.  Her confidence and strength and hope and home and life and love all reside in our marriage.  Thank you, Katie.

6  SHE DOESN’T GIVE ULTIMATUMS

She never has given an ultimatum.

7  SHE DOES NOT HINDER MY WORK

I do not work a 9 to 5 job.  I have traveled much.  She has never whined about it nor balked at it.  Not only has she not hindered my travels, but she has been behind me in them.  She effervescently evokes a spirit of excitement in our home before, during and after my travels.

8  SHE IS NOT NEEDY

The comforts that have become necessities in America are of little consequence to Katie.  I don’t know if she has ever told me that she needs something (outside of random food products during pregnancy!)

9  SHE GETS BACK UP

We all fail.  We all have faults and weaknesses.  She always gets back up.  She never cops out with “that’s just the way I am.” 

10  SHE IS NOT DEFINED BY HAVING CHILDREN

She does not use the fact that God has blessed her with children as leverage over other women or as clout.  We are teenagers in love.  The children are incidental and not defining.  If we are together without the children, she does not wear a placard that states “I am the mother of 11.”  That is not what defines her.  She is Nick’s wife and I love that she wants that.

11  SHE LOVES BEING A WIFE

She exalts, ferociously sometimes, the office of wife.  She is chauvinistic.  She prefers male philosophical conversation to female cosmetic conversation.  She is content in her role as a helper.  It is not about her role, or her career, or her name.  She revels in being a wife.  I love her for that. 

12  SHE LOVES BEING MY WIFE

It is easy to be in love with someone who is in love with you.  I love it that she is pleased to be my wife.  I am the one that should be pleased with her.  We are one flesh and our name is Nick (Genesis 5:2).

13  SEX IS NOT A DIRTY WORD

It is not shameful.  It is not an obligation.  It is not simply a release.  Obnoxiously, the Bulgarian language sometimes uses the phrasing “to make sex.”  No – it is making love.  I grant you that, generally, it could be either lust or love that leads to sex.  The fact that lust leads to sex does not negate the fact that love leads to sex!  I truly feel sorry for those who endure it as an obligation – both male and female.  I love the fact that Katie loves to be loved by me.  While we try to be discreet, we have not tried to be puritan.  Christian young people should know that a crazy sex life may await them and, if they do it right, they can tap into that reservoir for years and not just one night.  The world does not have all the fun!  Cars, buses, outside, at the beach, crowded parking lots – what happened to the twinkle in our eye as Christians?   You can’t wipe the smile off of the man or woman who enjoys this area of married life.

14  SHE LOVES OUR CHILDREN

I love when Katie holds and hugs and caresses our children which she does every day to all the children.  They are not a burden to us.  They are work, but not a burden.  They are not a medal, nor an accomplishment, nor a performance, nor a burden.  They are our family.  I love when she gets caught up talking to our teenage boys some nights and doesn’t come down ’til midnight.  I love when she lets the laundry go in order to do an impromptu family run for ice cream or down to the Black Sea.  I love that she loves the kids and doesn’t simply endure them.

15  SHE DOESN’T SAY “I JUST CAN’T DO THAT…”

Our society has gone feminist so a guy just has to get lucky any more to find submission in a wife.   Thank you, God, for the amazing woman you gave me!

16  SHE IS NOT WORLDLY

I am the worldly one in the family.  Katie is not wooed by the stupidity of the world.  “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world…”  She does not find her joy or contentment or peace in anything that resides outside of our family and the Bible.  Thank you, Katie.

17  SHE DESIRES TO PLEASE GOD

She has always had a heart to please the Lord.  Christianity is not a game to her.  It is not a lifestyle.  It is not a job description.  I appreciate the fact that she is so sensitive to whether or not something would offend the Lord.

Happy Anniversary, Katie!  You are the love of my life.