Rhapsody in Blue Jeans

Rhapsody in Blue Jeans

“Dear Baby,”

Dear Baby,

I realize the more one knows another, the more difficult it is to say goodbye. I realize the emptiness of parting with one’s offspring certainly must grow exponentially with each added year before the child’s death. I also realize the more one invests in another, the more a parting racks the emotions.

But, Baby, these facts don’t erase the hurt in my heart.

I will not miss you growing up because I never knew you. Yet, at this moment, I seem to miss everything at once.

I miss your kicking and feeling your mommy’s stomach when you move.

I miss driving mom to the hospital and filling out the monotonous paperwork for the umpteenth time.

I miss the beating of the echograph machine that tracks your heart’s activity while we are waiting for you.

I miss holding mom’s hand as she brings you into the world.

I miss the feeling of being a dad again as you take your first breath.

I miss your first cry.

I miss looking into your mom’s eyes and saying, “Great job – I love you.”

I miss holding you for the first time and feeling your skin against mine. I miss smelling your hair and baby breath and kissing your lips and biting your ears.

I miss telling your brothers and sisters that you are here. I miss bringing them to the hospital to visit you even though you will be home the next day.

I miss getting everyone ready and calling all of our friends to meet us at the hospital when you finally step out into the world.

I miss taking you home.

I miss laying you on the bed and staring into your face dreaming about who you will be.

I miss mom feeding you.

I miss your brothers sheltering you and your sisters mothering you.

I miss your crying when mom bathes you.

I miss your eyes.

I miss your smile and your giggles.

I miss your first tooth and your first step and your first word.

I miss your vivaciousness.

I miss your little hair pretties and dresses. And socks and shoes.

I miss seeing the boys carry you proudly into church.

I miss your pantaloons and slippers and sweaters.

I miss your questions. I miss you tugging at my pants to get my attention. I miss you saying, “Daddy, look at this. Look what I can do!”

I miss the pictures you colored for me.

I miss your hugs when I come home from a road trip with the boys.

I miss your kisses and playing with your hair.

I miss your lisp and your dimple and your beauty mark and your blond hair and your brown eyes.

I miss reading to you. And laughing with you.

I miss seeing you cooking with mom.

I miss hearing you play with your sisters.

I miss our dates and I miss you growing up.

I miss watching you become a young lady.

And I miss it all at once – everything – right now.

The sorrow of losing you is not as lasting or deep as parents losing a child they know. I realize I will not miss you every day. I realize that this is a relatively superfluous hurt compared to the deep wound of losing someone whom someone’s knows intimately. I realize that your mom and I will heal. God has given us 11 others, for now, who occupy our time. I realize that it just wasn’t meant to be and I’m good with that.

I realize all of these things.

But today, Baby, today…

I hurt.

And I miss you.

I miss every memory I will not have with you – at one time.

Everything about you – all at once.

I don’t know how things work there with God, but I’m sure your brother and sister that went on before will take care of you. Enjoy yourself and have a time!

We’ll continue having a time down here on earth and someday up there we’ll swap stories. Don’t worry about us. We may think back about you every once in a while, but we will be ok.

Just not today.

Because today it hurts.

270 thoughts on ““Dear Baby,”

  1. Praying for you all. Been there. My wife has had 3 miscarriages. The last one hurt me the most. We are looking forward to day we get to meet them in heaven. We rejoice in the knowledge that one day, we Will see them again. Love you guys!!

  2. I also know this loss, two times but one thing that we comforted ourselves with is that God knows best, maybe she would have grown up away from the Lord so he took her home now. All my sympathy to you. love you, Mom H

  3. This was such a lovely, stirring post… I’m so very sorry for your loss and pray that God will continue to comfort you and your sweet wife and family. <3

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  98. Очень интересная статья! Я был поражен ее актуальностью и глубиной исследования. Автор сумел объединить различные точки зрения и представить полную картину темы. Браво за такой информативный материал!

  99. Я восхищен тем, как автор умело объясняет сложные концепции. Он сумел сделать информацию доступной и интересной для широкой аудитории. Это действительно заслуживает похвалы!

  100. I’m really impressed along with your writing skills and also with the format on your blog. Is this a paid subject or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it’s rare to peer a nice blog like this one these days..

  101. Я хотел бы выразить признательность автору за его глубокое понимание темы и его способность представить информацию во всей ее полноте. Я по-настоящему насладился этой статьей и узнал много нового!

  102. Can I simply just say what a comfort to find a person that truly knows what they’re talking about over the internet. You certainly understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important. A lot more people need to read this and understand this side of your story. I was surprised that you’re not more popular since you definitely have the gift.

  103. Автор представляет информацию в организованной и последовательной форме, что erleichtert das Verständnis.

  104. Это помогает читателям получить полную картину и сформировать собственное мнение на основе предоставленных фактов.

  105. Я ценю балансировку автора в описании проблемы. Он предлагает читателю достаточно аргументов и контекста для формирования собственного мнения, не внушая определенную точку зрения.

  106. Автор предоставляет достаточно информации, чтобы читатель мог составить собственное мнение по данной теме.

  107. Hi there! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with SEO? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good success. If you know of any please share. Kudos!

  108. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say great blog!

  109. Автор не вмешивается в читателей, а предоставляет им возможность самостоятельно оценить представленную информацию.

  110. Мне понравилась объективность автора и его стремление представить все стороны вопроса.

  111. Статья содержит обширный объем информации, которая подкреплена соответствующими доказательствами.

  112. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be exactly what I’m looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs? I wouldn’t mind producing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write concerning here. Again, awesome website!

  113. Я хотел бы поблагодарить автора этой статьи за его основательное исследование и глубокий анализ. Он представил информацию с обширной перспективой и помог мне увидеть рассматриваемую тему с новой стороны. Очень впечатляюще!

  114. Amazing blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A design like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog jump out. Please let me know where you got your design. Thanks a lot

  115. Hi I am so grateful I found your site, I really found you by error, while I was searching on Askjeeve for something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a remarkable post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read it all at the moment but I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read more, Please do keep up the awesome work.

  116. Статья представляет интересный взгляд на данную тему и содержит ряд полезной информации. Понравилась аккуратная структура и логическое построение аргументов.

  117. Он/она не стремится принимать сторону и предоставляет читателям возможность самостоятельно сделать выводы.

  118. Автор статьи предоставляет разнообразные источники и мнения экспертов, не принимая определенную позицию.

  119. Greetings from Idaho! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to browse your site on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the info you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m shocked at how fast your blog loaded on my cell phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, wonderful blog!

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  123. Автор старается сохранить нейтральность и обеспечить читателей информацией для самостоятельного принятия решений.

  124. Hey I am so happy I found your website, I really found you by mistake, while I was searching on Askjeeve for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thank you for a incredible post and a all round enjoyable blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read through it all at the moment but I have bookmarked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the great work.

  125. Very good blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m completely confused .. Any tips? Many thanks!

  126. Я прочитал эту статью с большим удовольствием! Автор умело смешал факты и личные наблюдения, что придало ей уникальный характер. Я узнал много интересного и наслаждался каждым абзацем. Браво!

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  128. Hey there fantastic blog! Does running a blog such as this take a large amount of work? I have very little knowledge of programming however I was hoping to start my own blog in the near future. Anyways, if you have any recommendations or tips for new blog owners please share. I understand this is off subject nevertheless I just needed to ask. Thank you!

  129. Эта статья является примером качественного исследования и профессионализма. Автор предоставил нам широкий обзор темы и представил информацию с точки зрения эксперта. Очень важный вклад в популяризацию знаний!

  130. With havin so much content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement?
    My site has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it appears
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  133. Heya this is kind of of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding knowledge so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

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  135. Greetings! Quick question that’s totally off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My weblog looks weird when browsing from my iphone4. I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to fix this issue. If you have any recommendations, please share. Appreciate it!

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